I’m so fucking tired of being boring!

I have distinct memories of being one of the least boring people I knew. I was the girl full of mystery. Full of life. That was a long time ago.

And sometimes I feel like life has gotten me. Let’s be straight about this – I’ve allowed it.

I’ve died a million deaths in a job I hate – that I’m not that good at. Chasing the money. Chasing a lifestyle.

Diving deeper into debt to maintain a lifestyle that isn’t making me happy – to build HerStory the way I think I’m supposed to. That dreaded “supposed to.”

Fuck it all.

I’ve drowned myself in the mommy role (that I’m barely pulling off sometimes by the way, or at least that’s how it feels) and I haven’t spent nearly enough time just enjoying my kids.

I can’t drink another glass of wine and pretend that I’m not purposely numbing myself.

I can’t choke down one more mother fucking mantra or affirmation. I can’t stuff another single fucking crystal in my bra. Can’t align my goddamn chakras – or fucking clear them – or whatever it is we do with those things.

I’ve suffocated under the words I’m not writing – and the words I’m not speaking.

Something’s gotta give. I refuse to sit in contentment for too long when I know I can change it. So, naturally – I’m changing things up around here. Not just for HerStory – I mean, yes that. But also in my own life. I’m pulling back the curtain to show you what it really looks like to re-write your story. Because 2017 has been a spontaneous re-write for me. And I’m far enough through to be able to start really talking about it.

I still absolutely have a macro vision for HerStory, but it was feeling too fluffy. And I’m not a fluffy person – at all. I was missing the micro vision that made me want to show up everyday – to represent myself truly as someone who is living her story. I started asking, ‘how can I get to the macro vision without the micro?’

And the answer is, you can’t. So I want you to see what this looks like and how it all comes together as I converge HerStory – the collective, with my story – my personal vision. And what it reeeally looks like to re-write your story.

I talk about it all the time. That’s what we’re all about here. So, it only makes sense to take you on the journey.

Holding the space for women to empower themselves – that will always be my mission. That will never change.

We must diligently create our own reality – on purpose – exactly the way we want to, if we want to have something left to offer to the world. And I wasn’t doing that in a way that’s in full alignment with WHO I AM. So that’s changing.

I’m re-writing my vision – my story, again. And I’m going to continue holding the space for other women who want to as well.

This about radical self-responsibility.

Here’s how 2017 started:

Since around March, I’ve been on a slow journey to expand my self-consciousness. My own self-awareness.

What this really translates into is living a waaaaay more conscious life than I had been. And this is how it’s manifesting right now: It’s grounding, it’s growing, it’s paying attention. Hyper attention – to what’s really going on around me.

I’ve asked the hard questions. The questions that define me. I’ve done for myself, ah-gain, what I offer anyone who resonates with HerStory – ask the questions that bring freedom.

And right now It’s allll about consumption.

  • What am I consuming online? Who am I allowing to penetrate my thoughts, ideas and dreams? It’s changed HOW I read books and how MANY books I read. I’ve opted out of FB groups and email lists. Because for the most part, it’s all noise.
  • What am I eating? Where did it come from? What is it doing to my body? If I’m eating an animal…how did it live? AND how did it die? Because…energy is powerful. Turns out I don’t need to eat nearly as much meat as I had been. My body doesn’t like it. And now I know.
  • What am I drinking? Why had I jumped so fully into this wine culture? Why had I done that thing where I wear the ‘mommy needs wine’ as a badge of honor? In reality, it’s making me fat, it’s making me resentful and it’s making me less conscious. Fuck that shit!
  • Where the fuck did all this stuff come from? I’m selling it…AND my house. Because I’ve sold my soul for a six figure salary – to pay for a big house and to buy things that don’t add to my experience. The best neighborhood with the best schools. Living deeeep in suburbia – and I want out.

I’m learning (again) that when I take responsibility for ALL of it, in a big way – the story changes. And this is what it looks like.

Is the life you’re living now, the story you would have written for yourself?

This is a question that I ask myself again and again. Not daily. Not necessarily monthly. But, definitely yearly. And when the answer is NO, it’s time to change things. I’m feeling boring. I’m feeling content. I’m not challenging myself. That’s my clear marker that it’s time for a re-write.

If your answer is No, in any area – it’s time to take massive responsibility for that.

I don’t care how far you’ve come, you will forever be reinventing yourself – unless you’re staying stagnant.

For me, this iteration says – I’m sick and fucking tired of being a boring, basic bitch.

Because I’m so much more than that. It’s time to reinvent myself, again…

And so here I go. You down?

It’s your life. Your story. You write it.

Xoxo.

 

Come join the Sisterhood – My private Facebook community of over 1500 amazing women.

You can find us here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1667918696793115/

 

 

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